Being Selfish ain’t that bad

Recently I read a woman quoting that she was really proud of her daughter because her daughter apparently reacted to a certain video as Selfish. That was followed by a long list of other parents praising her on her upbringing and went on to vent how well she had raised her child by inculcating such values. 

This all somehow disturbed me and a whole churning of thoughts started at the back of mind. Why exactly do people, parents particularly, take pride in showcasing how well they have raised their kids by teaching them that selfishness is a deterrent, an offense, almost a taboo for some.

Is this not somehow hurting the generations that we nurtured?  Think about others, don’t think only about yourself. Don’t do things because some may else may be offended.  I am nowhere propagating that we should be selfish at the cost of others righteous self. But is it not their own duty to guard their own happiness or wellness. It’s everybody’s individual responsibility, isn’t it?

Aren’t we somehow creating our next’s to be a clone of ourselves. The same features in a different body, which may be not compliment the personality of that particular individual. As if, we are trying to push clothes of our choice in a wardrobe which is meant to fit some other kinds of clothes.  

Every parent tries to teach their children a set of values, thoughts, beliefs that were passed on to them by their parents or the ones they have come to embrace as their own.

Being unselfish is also one of these many that our parents have dumped on to ours, without considering whether they suit our lifestyle, personality, or environment. Having said that, I myself have spent almost half of my life being, unselfish, too much sacrificing. Almost believing that choosing myself over others should make be guilty of that huge crime that I have committed.

Learning from all this, I started debating with myself that aren’t we somehow by teaching our children to be unselfish, inculcating in them the value of pleasing others, sometimes society as a whole, by being unselfish?  To be accepted as a part of the society by pleasing them, to be one among the crowd. Are we so vulnerable, weak to be able to distinguish ourselves from rest of the crowd by doing our own little things in our way? Or to be more precise, to be selfish.  All of this lead me to word, I had come cross from a book I read some time ago and been tolling about since then, “Second-handers”.  The word clearly refers to someone who have been living their lives to be accepted part of the society, to be praised by the society and being afraid of being outcast by them.

Have we ever stopped for a while and thought about why it should be important to be accepted by a society, which itself doesn’t know where it is heading, which has its own set of biases.

Can we not be courageous enough to break from these shackles and rise up above all these false pretence? And be ourselves and being a little selfish.